Divorce: First Things First. Get Control

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Divorce: First Things First. Get Control

Joshua

It is one of the ironies of life that, the times of greatest stress and emotional turmoil, when we need to be most in control of our passions and feelings, are the very times when, more often than not, we are least in control!

Divorce definitely falls fairly and squarely into that category. No-one truly wants a divorce, but sometimes, for whatever reason, two people can no longer realistically stay together in marriage and be happy.

In that scenario, divorce commonly follows. The period during which the actual divorce process is taking place is, for most couples and their families, a time of great stress and unhappiness, and there can be no escaping that fact.

For many men especially, the whole thing is an absolute nightmare, particularly where there are children involved. With statistics in the USA indicating that women are twice as likely to seek a divorce as their soon to be exs, the number of husbands and Dads for whom the whole thing comes like a bolt out of the blue is high.

The scenario is all too common. Dad comes home after a tough working day to be confronted by his wife who has finally decided to spill the beans. It is something that she has been debating, thinking about and possibly been discussing with those closest to her for weeks, perhaps even months, and she can keep quiet no longer.

In other words, her husband is the last one to know, but she has known what is coming for some considerable time. In all probability, she already has her attorney in place, and a plan of action that she had been working on in consultation with that attorney.

For many husbands and fathers, however, no matter how ridiculous it might sound, this may well be the first time that the idea of breaking up the family home has ever even occurred to them.

It is therefore a natural reaction to panic, to become overwhelmed with emotion and to lose control.

That is absolutely the last thing that you should do in these circumstances. Control, by definition, stops you doing the kind of things that you shouldn't do, and when you are first confronted with the specter of divorce, that is definitely not the time to lose it.

Most importantly, in those critical first few days, if you are not in control of the situation, keeping a firm grip on your actions and your emotions, it is far too easy to make crucial mistakes that cannot be undone later. Such basic mistakes can potentially lead to years of grief, and therefore keeping everything under control is of vital importance.

In fact, throughout the whole divorce procedure, you must exert your control over as much of the process as you can, because you can be certain that if you don't others will.

That will mean that there will be times when you will come into conflict with your soon to be ex-spouse. In reality, however, that is unavoidable when the whole thing that you're going through is happening as a direct result of conflict, disagreement and unhappiness.

This site is all about control, and how to gain and then retain the upper hand, so that out of a devastating situation you can eventually get the most you can, for yourself and your kids.

It is designed to highlight all the ways that you can exert your influence and control over the divorce process, and ensure that the end result is as favorable as it possibly can be for you and for your children.